"He went home to visit his mother and father and told them about me and his mom sent me a little gift. That was so sweet. We're planning to go meet them next month."
Marcellia, what was your dating life like before you joined Together Dating?
I didn't have a dating life. I would go to work, go to church and go home. I'm a Christian and I guess I'm just one of those women who don't attract men or something, but for whatever reason, I didn't have a dating life.
What was your opinion of matchmakers & online dating sites before you tried this service?
A friend of mine was trying to encourage me to try online dating. I didn't take that seriously. I don't really trust it or think it's safe, but we took a peak. She asked me to try a free service like Yahoo Personals! but I did a little research to find sites that catered more towards Christian-based online dating. I did find a couple with free trials. A friend helped me take some photos and we posted them online, but I didn't feel comfortable. It felt like a never-never land of faceless unknown people contacting you, and it felt kind of scary to me, so I didn't really care for it.
What inspired you to try Together Dating?
I was browsing the Internet and I filled out a form that was related to Together Dating, and I think I confused it with one of the Christian sites that I was on called Together Christians Dating, and I don't know that's how it happened but my phone was ringing off the hook almost every single week from Together Dating.
At first I told them that I wasn't interested but one day I decided to hear out one of the representatives of the company. She was telling me that they're not an online service. She wanted to make an appointment for me to actually sit down and talk to a real human being. That got my attention.
The second thing that impressed me were background checks on the individual. I felt a little more comfortable about that. The bottom line was that I wasn't obligated to join, I was just going to check it out. I would love to be married and I would love to have someone in my life, and at that time I didn't have anyone special, so I thought… why not?
How did you like working with them?
At first it felt very comfortable. It was a very nice, presentable office, clean, neat. Courtney seemed to really know her stuff. I felt she had a good read on me. Her assistant was professional. They represented the company very well. She asked a lot of questions, and by the time I was finished, I realized I had been there for over two hours.
How does the interview process work? What happens?
You're given short questions to answer in a nice reception area. Then you're given more in-depth personality questions to answer, and after you finish that you're given another set. 50 to 100 questions. After that, you sit down privately with a counselor who offers background about the company, the success stories behind it and discuss why you're there. They asked a few questions and we were taking notes because it's an interview on both sides.
From what I was told, you're being interviewed to see whether or not you're a good applicant to even join the membership. At one point she said I would be a nice candidate. I was told that you couldn't join unless you had transportation. I like that they thought things through. That just made sense. You have to have transportation. For the background check, you had to bring ID, a credit card, driver's license and they made their copies and took a picture, which scared me because my hair was a wreck. They assured me that nobody was going to see it; it was just for their files.
You get a chance to write out a brief intro about yourself that would be used and then you discuss the pricing.
What I do like about Courtney is that at one point make reference to the cost of the service to take the shock off, I guess, because it is not cheap. She brought out all the different plans and suggested which one would probably be best suited for me. After you pay for the package, you are told that it's not a casual dating situation, but for someone seeking a long term relationship. It takes about two weeks for the background check.
It says in the information that the first person is not a real exact match, but a test and its best not to get serious the first time out. Being a traditional person, you might want the guy to call you but the rule is that you both call. Then you get a very discreet letter in the mail. No one would know that it's from a dating service, and inside is a form that only tells you the first name of the person, a phone number, the little blurb we all write up with a few answers to basic questions.
Together Dating has different introduction packages - Which package did you choose?
There were 6, 12, 18 and 36 referral packages and I chose 12. You are able to place them on hold for one year, which is good. I think one year gives you enough time to evaluate a person, to break a person down and see all the emotions, meet all the friends and family and make a clear decision.
Tell me about David.
He didn't meet my criteria.
Which criteria didn't he meet?
Height. He was much shorter. It says on his paperwork that he's 5' 6" and I'm not sure if he is or not, but that is what it says on his paperwork.
Anyway, after a few mismatches, I said I'd go on because I promised myself that with the next gentleman I would be polite and nice, even if it wasn't' reciprocated. I think he called me, it was in January and we were trying to set up to meet. It was very cold and I was busy, I wasn't familiar with where he lived and he didn't know anything about where I lived, as we were about an hour away from each other.
I was not expecting anything. I told him I was busy, I had training to do. I was making a big deal out of it but he said, "oh no, I've got to meet you. I'm listening to your voice…" and just from the sound of my voice he had to meet me. So I squeezed him in on a Sunday and I'll never forget how very, very cold the weather was. He said "I'm coming to you." He said, "I'm coming all the way to meet you," and he did. We went out for Chai tea and just talked for hours.
What was your first impression of him?
There is something about David. He's very friendly in that you feel like you've known him all your life. We talked on the phone within a week, he would call me often and we would just talk and talk. He was about to do the Polar Bear Plunge and I had never met anybody crazy enough in the winter to jump into ice cold water. That interested me. He has a grown son as well, so by the time we met we had been yakking for hours on the phone. I started asking my usual questions. My number one question is "Do you go to church?" because I am a Christian and I do go to church, and that is important to me for a husband or partner in life. He said yes. He was the first person to say yes. That put a big smile on my face.
The other thing that has nothing to do with Together Dating, it's just something mom's tell their daughters, is that, if you read the Bible, it tells you that a woman should match up with somebody who at least has their own, not somebody who is living off of mom and dad. Not only did he have a house, but he put an addition, he added a deck to the house, the siding and did a lot of work. He was one of those perfect handymen who knows electrical, plumbing, etc. He also told me he was an electrician and I thought 'wow, that's definitely a keeper.' He also owns a boat, and he began to talk about his boating lifestyle, which is something totally foreign to me. He promised me if we were still seeing each other in the summer that he would take me out on the boat.
Describe your first official date. How did it go? Where did you go?
Our first date was a surprise. It was a little exciting, a little scary; I didn't know where we were going. He did narrow it down and said that we were going to Baltimore. We went to the aquarium and walked around and took the light rail to get there. It was really fun.
He did send me the most beautiful flowers for Valentine's Day. I was a little nervous because I didn't know how he felt, as we were just dating. I sent him a card. I can tell he was smitten by me right away. He was nervous for some reason. I didn't think guys felt that way. I was his 3rd referral at this point. I decided that we should have our own Valentine's Day a month later, March 14th, and it was very romantic. He presented me with a beautiful necklace with a cross on it, and I gave him some cologne, and we went out to a very nice romantic dinner. That's when he showed me where he lived and where people go with their boats. It was very, very nice. And at that point we decided we wanted to be a couple.
What do your friends think about the way you two met?
Only one girlfriend who is using the same service knows how we met. As far as my church family, I did tell those in my inner circle, like my godmother. Later on, by the time I met David, I told my parents. My mother was very nervous and was scared for me and I kept telling her everything was fine.
Now they've met David and she loves him, and David loves my parents. They just adore him. He went home to visit his mother and father and told them about me and his mom sent me a little gift. That was so sweet. We're planning to go meet them next month.
Do you talk about the future?
We're definitely in each others future. I would never, never introduce anybody to my parents that I'm not going to marry, and my parents know that. And my mother was hinting 'I just love my future son-in-law' like that. The people at church, my godmother, the ones who are in the inner circle, they all just kept saying we see you in the future and my godmother confessed to me that behind my back, to her friends, she called David my husband.
And the same thing with David, he introduced me to his son and we're going to see his parents. And the way he introduced me to all of his friends. We would never do anything like that if we weren't looking to have a future together.
Do you have any advice for others searching for love via the Together Dating service?
I would just say that you should keep an open mind. Don't discuss the membership with other people. I think you should have open communication with the management and customer service if you do feel down or if something is not going your way, get clarity from the customer service department. I will say that prayer offers answers for people who are religious. Really, just take your time and be honest with the people you meet.
When you're dealing with matters of the heart, it can be a very emotional thing and therefore no one needs someone playing games with them. Take it very seriously, especially because of the amount of money you're paying, and just have the patience and wait it out.
Go through every referral you're matched up with. In my case, David and I would never have met under other circumstances because he didn't match my criteria, but fortunately, I decided to go against my normal instincts. Don't have too many expectations, and let people be people and you be yourself.
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