“Doors open and close,” and at that time a door closed for
me, and then Scott walked into my life and then it opened again."
Describe your dating life before you joined Together Dating?
Lynda: I had just gotten out of a five-year marriage. So at the age of 25 up until 30, I was confused. Things didn’t go very well, and when I decided to finally divorce, I was quite shaken up, upset, disappointed, depressed, and my dating was very sporadic. I would try to go out but I’d not have fun and, of course, I had a ticking clock. I was 30, so I wanted to get on with my life—hopefully a new and challenging, bright and cheery one, because the past was not so bright and cheery. I was looking for something new and exciting to happen for me.
Scott: Non-existent.
What was your opinion of matchmakers and online dating sites before you tried Together Dating?
Lynda: I tried doing the newspaper before I joined Together Dating. I looked in the paper’s personals in our hometown. It was just something like “Love Lives for the Weekend,” and you would call up someone in the paper. I tried that for a bit. It was very sketchy; I got scared, to be truthful, with that. I had a few ups and downs with it and I thought, “Oh, this is not going very well.”
I started looking at other possibilities besides the paper and the Internet. I really didn’t want to try video dating, and I guess that’s what struck me with Together Dating. They said they would interview you, but not put it on videotape; the videotapes just didn’t seem exciting to me. I wanted something a little more personal, and that’s what I got out of Together Dating.
I saw the commercials and made the step toward going to Together Dating and challenging myself to actually join and pay the money. That was another big issue, as at that time it was a pricing commitment and the paper and the Internet were not. Online sites were like $6.00 a month and the paper was nothing, you could just open up the paper and call somebody and then meet.
Scott: Skeptical.
When did you try Together Dating—how long ago?
Lynda: I was in the process of looking in February 1996, so we’re talking 12 years ago. My marriage had broken up and the divorce was final by January, but my so-called ex was out of the house six months prior to that.
What inspired you to try Together Dating?
Scott: I wanted a companion and all of my friends were getting married. I felt like a third wheel.
How did you like working with them?
Lynda: It was wonderful. They were very calm and very loving and that’s what I was hoping to get out of the program. I was hoping to get love, and they made me feel loved. They were very excited to have me come into the office. It wasn’t all about money. It was just, “Come on in and let’s just talk about our program and what we can do for you.” I just felt loved; there was no commitment at that point. It was, “Come in and let’s talk about you and see what your interests are and you’re your goals are and what you want out of life.” It felt like they were tuning into me, and my problems and that made it more exciting to me. I was like, “Wow, they really care about me.”
Scott: I felt at ease.
How does the interview process work?
Lynda: I actually went into their office, and I think it was even a three hour-long process. I filled out paperwork, and beforehand I was even told to bring a scenario of what I was looking for so I wasn’t groping, “What do I want out of a man?” because that was a question. So I had already made a three page list of what I wanted and didn’t want and I was very specific because obviously I already had what I didn’t want and I knew what I did want. I was ready for marriage. I wasn’t going into this and come out without a marriage. I was looking for the long-term goal.
Scott: I asked for a specific range of ladies.
Who made the initial contact?
Lynda: I had an opportunity to meet six men and Scott was my third. When the third referral came up, they gave me his scenario, and he didn’t match my criteria, and I was very specific about what I was looking for. My range was 28 to 38 and here I was 30, and he was 28. What made it work for me was that he called me and I was already so delighted. I received the paper and he called me the next day and I thought, “Yes, this is exciting that I didn’t have to be the pusher and call first.”
Tell me about your first date.
Lynda: He wanted something comfortable so we settled for a lunch date. I teach Spanish, so he picked me up at the university where I was working. We went to a downtown restaurant, very open, and we had a wonderful lunch for about an hour. We both had something to do until about 7:00, so after 2:00 we both had to get on with our days and we decided to meet again that evening.
I had a house that had been burglarized because I wasn’t living in it. I was staying with my parents and I had bought a TV, and he had a truck, and the wheels were turning, and I was thinking that maybe he could bring that TV to my house. And on top of that, he met my parents that night, since I had told him, “Oh, my parents are probably not going to be home,” but they were. So he had to meet and greet my parents very quickly on this very first date of meeting me only five hours earlier.
So we picked up the TV, put it in his truck and took it over to the house. He even set it up for me and I believe we sort of passed out on the couch until one or two in the morning. I think we had a little intimate moment that very same night, early in the morning before he left. I’m thinking, “I really care for this guy and I think he’s really cool,” and I wasn’t going to let go. I thought I had scared him away that night. He had a little rented place and he finally made the move to try Together Dating because he had decided he wanted to find somebody, but slowly. But I think it happened a bit quicker than he expected.
So I kept calling and going over to his place. I just decided that I was going to continuously hang onto him and hey, if he could only see me at this time, I went over to his place; if he could only see me at his worksite, I went over there. I don’t know if it was called “hounding” him or not. My husband Scott, the poor thing, had bought 12 dates from Together Dating, not thinking that the first one he met would be it. He jokes that he still feels that the program owes him!
By October, we had finally decided we were stuck on each other, but there was one little thing that I knew that was holding us back. I’m 30-something years old and I was never baptized and that means I really didn’t have a denomination. Scott is seriously with his Lutheran Church. He grew up with it in elementary school and went for four years to a private Evangelical Lutheran School. So we were at a Chinese restaurant and he said, “There is just one little thing.” I said, “It’s the religion, isn’t it?” He said, “Well, yes.” I said, “That’s not a problem. What do you want me to do? That’s not going to stop us.” So I decided to take the six months’ training in his church to become baptized and joining his church. So I did this in October or November, and it wasn’t until October that following year that he actually proposed to me.
Scott: I was nervous but excited. We had a connection the first part of the day and decided to meet again in the evening.
What was your first impression of each other?
Lynda: Geeky—he was geeky. He looked lanky and tall and that was another thing. I’m 5’ 3” so I really wanted somebody 6 foot or under, and he claimed to be 6’1”. When I saw him, I thought, “Oh, my gosh—here’s this tall, thin guy.” That was the first thing that came to my mind, that he’s kind of geeky. But then obviously after that, looks didn’t matter to me. To tell you the truth, you had asked about my dating past and it would have to be, well, I’m a Spanish teacher, so I’m thinking more Latin lovers—Latin, Mexican; I was in Spain for two years and thought I would meet my love there and never did. So yes, I certainly thought I was going to be with a Latin lover. Oh and this guy doesn’t have a lick of Spanish in him.
Scott: I liked the way she was built. That was an in for me.
What do your friends think about how you two met?
Lynda: Typically, the question was, “Wow! You guys met through Together Dating, that agency?” That’s usually the question I get: “That dating agency? It really works?” I say, “Yeah, I met my husband through a dating service,” and they’re like, “Really, that works?” It really did for us.
Scott: A bit strange that I paid money for dates.
Can you tell me how Scott proposed?
Lynda: It was the most romantic thing ever! He had already bought my ring. He took it with him to the Bahamas because we had a deal to stay down there for two days on a boat and five days altogether. So this is very exciting to me. I was with a guy I really, really love and I made fun of him in a piano bar. I had the guys make up a song about a guy who was afraid to ask me to marry him. It had been a year and a half, because we met in March, 1996 and it was October, 1997. He was going to ask me on the ship on our two days to The Bahamas. So we were on the boat, under the stars, and he pulls out the ring and says, “It’s come to the time where I think our two lives need to join together into one.” I thought, “Oh my God!” It was just so exciting! On my ring finger I wore a dumpy little $90.00 diamond, because I had to have something on that finger. I had worn it for three years, this dinky ring. So I took it off and threw it into the ocean, and what do you think he thought? He thought I had taken his ring and thrown it! He was panicking, thinking I threw it…he was like, “What!?” I said, “I’m throwing that little dinky ring, honey. It’s okay.” He was about half ready to jump in. I said, “I just threw that one away and put on yours.” It was so romantic, so awesome, and then we got off the boat and I called my mom and told her that he asked.
What was your wedding like?
Lynda: Absolutely wonderful. We had about 300 to 500 people at the wedding. It was a pretty big wedding. I had five-plus bridesmaids, plus my sister, who was my Maid of Honor, so six. And he had to be in white—that was his thing. He had always dreamed of being in white. I wore a gorgeous fluffy mermaid-type of dress; it was white and flowing and it had a pretty good train to it that bustled up at the end of the night.
Where did you get married?
It was in Omaha, Nebraska, at his church. It was called Good Shepherd Evangelical Lutheran Church.
How many children do you have?
Lynda: We have three boys, three awesome boys. Our 10-year anniversary is coming up on August 15th.My father actually passed away in 2000, four days before my first son was born, so he never got to see his grandson. But my mom, (my parents were divorced), got a call from him on Wednesday and she was the only one to know if it was a boy or girl, my first son. He had called my mother asking that information and so he passed on knowing it was a boy. We gave him my dad’s name for a middle name. He was to come to Omaha from Chicago, and I didn’t get to go to his funeral because obviously I was going to have the baby in three days. He died on Saturday and it was Wednesday that I was going to have the baby. He had plans and tickets to come here, but my stepmother still came that weekend and saw the baby, so it made the experience even better. When they came to me to tell me that he passed away, it was tears, and then I was off to have the baby. It was a strange feeling being pregnant and then having your father pass away, all at the same time. It was bittersweet, they always told me, through the whole thing, and that’s exactly what it was. But that made it so perfect, it was perfect because my first son has a birthmark, and we tell him that’s his angel.
How would you describe your life together now?
Lynda: Lovely, beautiful, exciting, but also fast-paced and busy. We make time at night for us but everything is a building block. What do we do for the future? We have a very good nest being created. Our families are very close to all of us. We have a cabin nearby and we always invite his side of the family who get together every three months to go boating and be on the lake. My mother bought one of those Hilton condos in Orlando, and we’re very big on vacations; we love having time together and time with family and we’re very close to all of them. I think that’s what I love about Scott, he’s so warm and loving and everything is with the family.
He does all the cooking, because when we got married the issue was that he was a bachelor for eight years and he made meals in 20 minutes. He says if you can’t do it all in 20 minutes, then it’s not really a meal. I love him. How could he not have been taken? He was 28 years old, come on!
I appreciate every moment we have, and there is not a day that goes by that I don’t think, “Doors open and close,” and at that time, I told you a door closed for me, and then Scott walked into my life and then it opened again. It has just made every moment loved even more.
Scott: Beautiful!
Do you have any advice for others who are searching for love using the Together Dating Service?
Lynda: Never have a doubt and don’t have that fear that a lot of people have in dating, that it might not work out, because you just might notice that it’s really and truly in front of your eyes and you don’t realize it. Never doubt and take the chance because it just might become your two lives.
Scott: Don't be afraid to take a chance because the right one is just around the corner.
