Together Dating

Mara & Duane

“Isn’t that amazing? He married his very first introduction.” – Mara

First off, Happy Anniversary!

Mara: We’ve been married for 14 years today.

I heard your success with Together Dating inspired Duane’s mother to try the service.

Duane: Yeah, they got married the summer of 1998.

Mara: I think she only went through two or three introductions before she met the man she married, and they just celebrated their 11th anniversary.

How did each of you originally find out about the service?

Duane: My mother had gotten a flyer in the mail, and she suggested I take a look at it.

Mara: I worked down the hall from where a Together Dating office used to be located. I was single at the time. One night, I walked down and peeked in to see what the office looked like. I was surprised to find there were people working that late.

They said, “Oh, are you single? Are you looking to meet someone?” At that time, I was not looking to meet anyone, but they made it sound so appealing. They said they had a big pool of applicants and lots of guys looking to meet people. So, I thought why not? I’ll come in, meet with them and see what it’s all about.

Why did you want to try Together Dating matchmaking?

Mara: I was new in town and didn’t really have a way of meeting people. Also, I was in grad school and working two jobs. I just thought I don’t know of any other way I would ever meet anyone. I don’t do the bar scene.

Duane: I had just turned 30 a few months prior, and I couldn’t find anybody available anywhere – not at my church, not in everyday contacts, not through activities I did. There was just no one to meet who I would have considered eligible, and I had not been in a relationship in several years.

I decided I was ready to get back into dating. The first person they sent me was Mara.

Wow! Duane, the first person Together Dating set you up with eventually became your wife?

Mara: Yeah, isn’t that amazing? He married his very first introduction.

Do you feel like the service understood what you were looking for right from the start?

Duane: Mara and I had a lot of things in common, so they did a pretty good job.

What were your first impressions of each other?

Duane: Talking to her on the phone the first time was just like talking to somebody I had known for years. There wasn’t that awkwardness of trying to figure out what to say.

Mara: Right away, I knew Duane was different from all the others they had sent me. By the time we met in person, it felt like we were old friends just from two conversations on the phone.

When we eventually met in person, that’s when I realized, wow, there is chemistry there, too.

What did you do on your first date?

Mara: I was a student at the time. On our first date, I took him on a tour of the campus. We went to a little coffee house and listened to a musical group playing there.

Duane: We really liked each other, and we just hit it off right off the bat.

Tell me about the proposal.

Duane: Actually, Mara kind of proposed to me. We had talked about it after we had been going out for about a year.

Mara: I don’t really remember the day where I really made a formal proposal. We just kind of said let’s get married. I remember the day we went and picked out a ring. I guess that’s when we officially got engaged.

How did you opinion of matchmakers change through this process?

Duane: I kept an open mind about it. I didn’t have a bad opinion or a good one going in, but I felt pretty good after we got hooked up.

Mara: My opinion changed, too. I did think it must only be losers, people in their 50s and people who can’t get a date. There must be something wrong with them that they have to resort to that.

Yet even though all the guys I met up until Duane weren’t the right man for me, they were all very successful, good-looking men. These were not losers. They were just people that for various circumstances couldn’t meet women the traditional way. They were either very into their job and didn’t have a lot of time for a social life or were new to the area like I was.

What did you like best about working with Together Dating?

Duane: The fact that they were going to find somebody for me instead of me having to make the effort all on my own. I liked the fact that they didn’t use a computer. I know how stupid the machines can be.

When you’re dealing with something personal, trying to match people up for a personal relationship, I wouldn’t have been too comfy with just taking data from one person and data from another and feeding it into a machine and letting it do the selection. The fact that you had human beings that would sit down and not only go by what’s on the paper but use their own instincts, I think that is a better way to do it.

Mara: I think even in this day and age when you do have more resources, and they do have the computerized dating services, I think the personal touch is still the best way to go.

Why else would you recommend Together Dating?

Mara: It worked for us.

Duane: It worked for us, and it worked for my mother and now stepfather.

Jean Ann & Dale

“First impression when I met her – classy gal, knowledgeable, down to earth and open. We had a lot of things in common. I was feeling like a freshman.” – Dale

First off, congratulations on your engagement! Obviously, you are each happy with how your Together Dating experience turned out.

Dale: Yes, along came Jean – the perfect match.

Why would you recommend singles try Together Dating?

Jean Ann: Together Dating treated us with dignity, respect and made the whole process seem very professional and upbeat. They were also very caring and followed up with things.

I feel very positive about matchmaking and would recommend the process, particularly to mature people who are looking for a serious long-term relationship or marriage. I think it’s a good way to do that.

Before signing up for Together Dating, what were your love lives like?

Dale: I was widowed and had never really dated.

Jean Ann: I had been widowed for about 15 years. I dated off and on. Also, I had tried in the last five years different dating sites, like eHarmony and True.

Why did you decide to sign up for the service?

Dale: Being widowed, there is plenty of laundry and housework to do. I also still work full time. So, I was busy, but I got sick of sitting and looking at four walls on the weekends. I really wanted to meet someone, but I did not want to do the bar scene.

Jean Ann: I had dated quite a few people, but I hadn’t found anybody that I considered marriage material. I was getting pretty frustrated.

Tell me about the interview process you each went through after joining Together Dating.

Dale: It was probably close to an hour. We talked about my marriage that was 47 years, and what I was looking for in a match. I tried to be very straightforward, tell them exactly what I would expect and what I thought would work for me. I felt they were helpful in putting together who Dale is.

Jean Ann: Overall, I thought they were very professional and positive. Before my interview, I put together two pages about who I was and what I looked for in a man. I took those pages in with me, and they were very appreciative of that. They did some testing. It was basic questions on preferences and personality traits. I’m sure that was helpful, too.

Next, you started receiving date referrals?

Jean Ann: I got names in the mail that gave a short description of the person and their phone number. It’s just a brief description that maybe includes a little point of interest. Like on mine, it said, “Please ask Jean Ann about whitewater rafting.”

So Together Dating provides you with an icebreaker for that first conversation with a potential date?

Jean Ann: Right, an icebreaker and a very brief description as far as age and that type of thing. I did meet three other gentlemen. Dale was the fourth name, and I was the fourth for him also.

How was your relationship with your matchmaker throughout this process?

Dale: I tried to be straightforward on why I felt I didn’t match up well with those initial referrals. I’m sure that’s one of the reasons I got eventually got Jean’s name.

So, you felt your matchmaker was responsive to your needs and suggestions?

Dale: Yes, very much.

Did you two have good first date?

Jean Ann: We had lunch together, and things just clicked right away. I knew as soon as we met and talked that I wanted to know him more. I could just tell from the kinds of things he said that he was just a kind and caring man.

We talked about our families. He has two adopted children. From the way he spoke about his relationship with them, I could tell that he would also be open to a relationship with my children.

Dale, what was your first impression of Jean Ann?

Dale: First impression when I met her – classy gal, knowledgeable, down to earth and open. We had a lot of things in common. I was feeling like a freshman.

Now here you both are less than a year later after that first date—engaged! Jean Ann, how did Dale propose?

Jean Ann: We had been looking for rings, so we had kind of started to talk about getting engaged. While we were on vacation, Dale said one day, “I have something I want to show you.” We drove up to this big mall. He said he had to go to the cash machine, so I should go over to the jewelry store and look around. I found a set I really liked. He took one look at it, and he liked it, too. He said, “Oh, that’s you Jean Ann!”

The people at the jewelry store told us that they could have the ring sized and ready for us the next day. So we came back the next day, and the sales clerk said, “Are you going to wear this, or do you want it in a box?” Dale told him in the box. I had my camera, thinking here I was going to have this big moment and take pictures in the store, and he said to put it in the box! So, that really wasn’t what I expected.

When did you get to see that ring again?

Jean Ann: Right after, we sat down in the food court and got an Orange Julius. He reached across the table, took my hand and he said, “Jean Ann, will you marry me?” When people say to me, “Where did you get engaged?” I say, “In the food court at the mall over an Orange Julius!”

I hear you will be getting married this Halloween.

Dale: Yes, it’s going to be a costume party.

Jean Ann: The Bride of Frankenstein is what I am going to be, and Dale will be the Groom Reaper.

Really?!!?

Jean Ann: No, it’s not, but we’ve taken quite a bit of ribbing about the Halloween wedding date. It was the date we could work it out with the church and family, so we just went with it.

Speaking of your family and friends, what do they think of the way you two met?

Jean Ann: There are more and more people meeting through this, and it’s because of how busy people are for one thing. So, we haven’t really had any negative responses. I know I was in a townhouse complex where it’s mostly people in their 60s and up. My neighbors are going, “Isn’t that nice!” Our kids have been really positive.

What was your favorite part about working with Together Dating?

Dale: I think they were very helpful, and I thought they really reacted to my comments on the first dates I had that I knew wouldn’t fit. They came up with Jean’s name, so in the end, it worked. If somebody asked me again is it worth it, would you do it, I would definitely say yes.

Shannon & Mike

I put in my criteria: “No children” and I’d never opened my mind to that possibility. When they called to set me up with Shannon, they told me she had a daughter and I thought I’d give it a try. What a blessing that turned out to be!  I’m so glad she was part of the package – Mike

How would you describe your dating lives before joining Together Dating?

Shannon: I met some crazy people and it wasn’t great, through friends.

Mike: I didn’t really date much. I would meet someone but we’d not hit it off. I thought I would give this a try and hopefully they would set me up with someone who I had some things in common with. I tried online dating with Match.com, but no success there. I literally didn’t meet anybody; I got no responses. I think a lot of online dating is completely dishonest. I don’t think you can really trust it. I dated a little through friends, but nothing really worked out.

What inspired you to sign up with Together Dating?

Mike: I found a flier in my mailbox that was for a website. It wasn’t Together Dating, but when I went to the site, it asked for information and then I got a call from Together Dating, so it was all connected.

Shannon: I wasn’t finding people who I had anything in common with and I had seen signs around town stuck in the grass. They were everywhere for a while!

Did you have any opinions about matchmaking services before joining Together Dating?

Mike: I never really thought of giving it a try. I had seen ads but never gave it much thought.

Shannon: I guess I remember it from commercials in the 80s, but hadn’t heard much about matchmaking since then. Through Match.com and a couple of other online sites, I wasn’t finding people who were very mature.

What did you especially enjoy about the interview process with Together Dating?

Shannon: I liked that they did a background check and credit check. I just want to be safe if I’m going to do something like that. I liked the personality profile and that it was actually people and not a computer matching me up with somebody.

Mike: I liked that the personality profile was very thorough; it pretty much hits every aspect of your personality. It asks you a lot of questions, but it gets around to everything and it’s very accurate. Although they set me up with a few I had nothing in common with, overall I think they did a good job. The ladies were very friendly and I felt welcome there.

How many other referrals did you each have before you met?

Mike: I had met four before I called Shannon.

Shannon: Just one.

What was your first date like? Where did you go?

Mike: We met at Starbucks. I forgot to ask her what she would be wearing, so I had no way of identifying her. I was just sitting there for a while and it turns out she was in there for a while too. I remember seeing her come in, but I didn’t know it was her. Every woman that walked through the door, I’m thinking, "Is that her?" I thought she was very attractive and cute. I was watching her as she ordered her coffee and sat down, and then she texted me saying, “I’m wearing a pink sweater.” I went over to her table and we started talking. It turned into a longer date. We went to a restaurant and had dinner.

I noticed she was a little shy, which I like. I dated women before who just yapped away and I thought Shannon was easy to talk to because I’m shy too. I thought it was really good. She let me talk and listen and I like that.

Shannon: It was good. I didn’t know what he looked like and I was a little nervous. He was very friendly and looked me right in the eye and I knew I could trust him. He seemed like a good match. We had some small talk and then a little more depth to the conversation. I think it was me who asked him if he wanted to go to dinner, for the record.

We laughed a few times, which was a good tension-breaker. We had some of the same taste in music. I wouldn’t say Michael was my “type” that I usually go for: The quiet, mean-looking guy. Michael was very friendly and it was easy to talk to him.

What do your friends and family members think of how you met?

Mike: Most say, “Okay,” and don’t really say much else about it.

Shannon: Some people I talk to say, “I don’t know if I would do that,” because they have the whole online dating stereotype in their head.

Mike: That’s the thing. You have to explain the difference. That is the first thing they’ll say: “Oh, online?” And then you have to say, “No,” and that you actually went into an office and dealt with people there.

How long did the two of you date before you got married?

Mike: It was April of 2007 when we met, and we married in September 2008.

Shannon, what was the proposal like?

Shannon: It was Christmas morning and we opened our presents. He opened his first and then I opened mine. We had talked about it beforehand but nothing was set in stone. We just said that probably someday we’d get married, and we were living together. I got to my last present and it was a Chia Pet, and that was a joke between us. I always wanted a Chia Pet when I was little but never got one, so he got me one. I was kind of expecting a ring but I wasn’t sure if he was going to give it to me. He said, “Why don’t you look in the box?” and there was this little cheesy alarm clock in there, and a ring box in there. Then he was down on his knee and he asked me. It was very sweet.

Mike: I was just happy she didn’t throw the Chia Pet out before I had a chance.

How would you describe your lives together now?

Mike: I love it. I love feeling stable knowing I’ll always have Shannon there for me. She’s very supportive and she’s like my rock.

Shannon: My daughter is four and we will go and get ice cream or go to the mall and the play area or go have a nice dinner out. Monica just adores Mike.

Mike: She’s great; I adore Monica. She’s sweet and like the daughter I always wanted.

Do you have any advice for people who are considering signing up for Together Dating?

Mike: Be patient, because the first few times you might be disappointed. The first couple of times, I was getting pretty frustrated and feeling that it wasn’t working. It will work - you just have to give it time.

Shannon: Keep an open mind because you never know. Mike wasn’t my usual “type.” We’re both so shy I don’t think it ever would have happened any other way.

Mike: That’s a good point. It’s hard with two shy people, to get to talking you pretty much have to be forced into that situation, but it worked out for us. I put in my criteria: “No children” and I’d never opened my mind to that possibility. When they called to set me up with Shannon, they told me she had a daughter and I thought I’d give it a try. What a blessing that turned out to be!  I’m so glad she was part of the package.

Grace & Dave

"We met in February and he proposed in December. By the time we got married in June, we knew each other for one year and four months." - Grace

What were your respective dating lives like before you joined Together Dating?

Dave: Some friends of mine tried to set me up. They had me lined up with a whole bunch of school teachers and apparently the first one I met gave me a thumbs’ down, because all the others canceled after that. Then I waited about seven years before whatever burr came under my butt and I contacted Together Dating.

Grace: I was pretty new here in the U.S.; I’m from out of the country. Where I worked, there weren’t really that many people of my age and if they were my age, they were married. I had a routine which was more of work, home, and since I had a son, I spent time at home with my son. There wasn’t really much social opportunity, and that’s the reason why I thought of looking at alternatives elsewhere. But I wasn’t really that keen about these online websites because of all the horror stories. Together Dating appealed more to me, because there was like a background check that was done beforehand.

Before joining Together Dating, what was your opinion of matchmakers and online dating sites?

Dave: Some of the guys where I work had tried some online stuff and it didn’t work out for them. I’m not sure what burr came up my butt to make me call. I filled out the online thing on Sunday afternoon, Sunday night they called, and Monday I was at their place. They were like “Boom!”

Grace: I thought this was different in the sense that you didn’t meet a stranger on your own. There was like a third party concerned, and they were going to do background checks. That appealed to me.

Once you decided to sign up, did you feel comfortable with the interview process?

Grace: I was content with the interview process, but even after the interview, when I went home, I was thinking, "Did I do the right thing?" I usually don’t make impulsive decisions. I guess the interview was good and I guess it appealed to me; the personality test they gave at the start was appealing to me. I thought, "It’s not just a matter of just putting people together"; there was some kind of formula that was used and that was appealing.

Dave: I didn’t feel quite as much pressure there. They had a young lady interview me and when she was asking some of the background questions, like how long it had been since I’d had a date, her jaw just about dropped, and she said she was going to make it her personal mission to get me a second date if nothing else.

It sounds like she did and then some! Did you enjoy discussing exactly what it was that you were looking for?

Dave: I was rather blunt. She said, “What are you looking for?” and I said basically, “I’m hoping I can eventually get a wife out of this.” She’s like, “Okay, well not too many people actually come out and say that as their first sentence.”

Grace: I liked the questions they were asking, like if I was serious about getting into a commitment. They said that they did not entertain people who were not really interested to get into a commitment, which I liked, because I was looking for something permanent.

Grace, you made the initial contact with Dave. What made you decide to do so?

Grace: I think I did it for most of my dates, as soon as I would get the referral. I had four referrals, and I called each one as soon as I got the referral letter.

Obviously then, your initial contact was at least interesting enough to compel you to go on a first date.  What did you do and how did it go?

Dave: She called and we talked for probably about 45 minutes and then we set up a meeting at a mall later that week. My daughter had my number in case it was bad, so she could give me a call.

Grace: So he could go home early.

Dave: Grace was running a bit late, but she called. I got there like 25 minutes early because I didn’t want to get lost.

Grace: I wasn’t that late! I was about 10 or 15 minutes late.

Dave, at some point, Grace arrived. What happened from there?

Dave: We kind of recognized each other.

Grace: He recognized me, but I think when he approached me, I wasn’t sure it was him. So I think I was fumbling with my cell phone, to call him. Then he approached me - you approached me, right? Then he introduced himself and asked if I was Grace.

Dave: Then I guess we sat in the mall there…

Grace: At the food court.

Dave, when you first saw Grace, what did you think? Was she what you had expected she’d be? Do you remember what she was wearing?

Dave: Actually she was a little better than what I’d expected. I want to say it was a red top and dark brown corduroy pants.

Grace, is that right? And do you remember what Dave was wearing?

Grace: Yeah. I think he was wearing a brown jacket and navy blue shirt, but I’m not sure about his pants. He had a hat on to cover his silver hair.

Was there anything after that? Or was that the end of your first date, just sort of a “checking each other out” very casually?

Grace: It was a long date. We had a good conversation and then I said, “What if we go upstairs and have dinner?” Then we ate and I think that was like a total of six hours, like from 2 PM to 8 PM, was it?

Dave: Somewhere around there.

Grace, what was your first impression of Dave?

Grace: I thought he was interesting to talk to and I thought he was smart. Those were the things I liked, and I felt comfortable talking to him.

Dave, what about you? What were your initial impressions of Grace?

Dave: She was cuter than I’d thought she would be. She showed a hell of a lot more gut and determination than I would have, because she had come from a foreign country to do better. I don’t think I would ever have the courage to do that. That really impressed me.

What do your friends and families think about how the two of you met?

Grace: They were excited about it. They sort of felt secure also, because they knew there was a background check that was done and it wasn’t that scary for them.

Dave: They just tease me anyway for anything. I work with a rough crowd. Randy was at least encouraging, and Jerry said that it was about time I did something, because I never would have met anyone if I hadn’t. They were just glad that I was doing something.

What was the proposal like?

Dave: I slipped the ring in her Christmas gift, so when she opened it on Christmas morning, I said, “Gee, what is that bump there?”

Grace: It was in the pocket.

Dave: That’s where I had hidden the ring.

Dave, did you feel pretty confident this proposal would be accepted?

Dave: I was about 85% sure.

Grace, were you surprised?

Grace: He’d sort of hinted before then, because we had discussed it. There was an event before that where we had talked about settling down. So I sort of got the hint. But then of course I wasn’t really expecting it until he said, “What is that bulge there?” because it was in a pair of pants he gave me. So then I sort of said, “Oh no!” I was a little afraid, more for him than for me. I was thinking, "Was he really ready for it or was he pushed?" That was my reaction. I think the first thing I said was, “Are you sure?!”

Dave: Something like that. It took me by surprise.

What is your life like now? Dave, you have a daughter and Grace, you have a son. How has it been, merging your lives together?

Dave: So far, so good.

Grace: It was harder when we were thinking about my moving in and all that. It was kind of complicated because it wasn’t only us; it was the kids, as well. It was kind of scary.

Dave: Moved from one school district to another.

Grace: For me, it was one state to another, and for my son, it was from one school to another. There was a lot of change on my side. We were staying in Virginia and Dave was in Maryland.

How far away, in terms of miles, were you two at the time?

Dave: 47 miles.

Grace: One way is 47 miles, and the other one is 41.6.

What do you guys all do together for fun?

Dave: I’m always trying to take them out to check out stuff, go look at things like the pumpkin patch.

Grace: We’re basically not that outgoing. We’re kind of domesticated, and even if we had to stay home, that would be fine. There is always something that preoccupies me at home. And Dave likes to just relax at home. But he does think of stuff to do outside. Since I’m not familiar with the area, he always thinks of bringing me somewhere that I’ve never experienced before.

Dave: I’m in a small community and we do community fairs. We have a pumpkin patch where you walk out in the farm and pick your pumpkin and stuff like that. We have a nursery down the way that you can go throughout the year. Right now they’re teaching you how to stuff a scarecrow, carve a pumpkin, and later on, they have all these nice Christmas decorations. In the spring, they bring out all the spring festivals and all the pretty flowers and stuff like that. I try and drag her to those things, along with the kids.

Grace: Or football games.

Grace, when did you know that Dave was special?

Grace: I guess his being very nice and a comfortable person to be with. He’s not demanding; he’s very easy to be with. He likes to always say, “I’m easy and it’s up to you.” You don’t really have to feel like you have to take care of someone. It was that, and at the same time, it was enjoyable being with him. I don’t think there are many people who you can be very comfortable with. I said if it works out with him, what is the point in looking for someone else? I would only look for someone else if I wasn’t content with him.

Dave, what was it about Grace that made you decide to propose last Christmas?

Dave: She was fun.

Grace:  He had no other choice.

Was it a whirlwind courtship?

Grace: We decided in less than…

Dave: 10 months.

Grace: We met in February and he proposed in December. By the time we got married in June, we knew each other for one year and four months. It was also because of the family. It was like I had to consider my son, because he was going to start high school, and I didn’t want to pull him out of school in the middle of high school, where he was already having ties with his classmates. So I thought it would be good timing if we could settle down just before he started high school. It’s different when you have kids. It’s not like when it’s just the two of you.

Do you two have any advice for others searching for love via Together Dating?

Dave: It worked for me. Answer the questions honestly, because I think that is what worked out with us. We’re a pretty good match.

Grace: I think you have to be open to each other even at the start. Then if you don’t think it’s going to work, you move on to the next referral. I guess it’s really just about being open and honest, that is the key, about what you’re like, and not trying to pretend that you’re something you’re not. Then I guess that way you learn more about each other quickly and you can decide whether to go on or not.

Marcellia & David

"He went home to visit his mother and father and told them about me and his mom sent me a little gift. That was so sweet. We're planning to go meet them next month."

Marcellia, what was your dating life like before you joined Together Dating?

I didn't have a dating life. I would go to work, go to church and go home. I'm a Christian and I guess I'm just one of those women who don't attract men or something, but for whatever reason, I didn't have a dating life.

What was your opinion of matchmakers & online dating sites before you tried this service?

A friend of mine was trying to encourage me to try online dating. I didn't take that seriously. I don't really trust it or think it's safe, but we took a peak. She asked me to try a free service like Yahoo Personals! but I did a little research to find sites that catered more towards Christian-based online dating. I did find a couple with free trials. A friend helped me take some photos and we posted them online, but I didn't feel comfortable. It felt like a never-never land of faceless unknown people contacting you, and it felt kind of scary to me, so I didn't really care for it.

What inspired you to try Together Dating?

I was browsing the Internet and I filled out a form that was related to Together Dating, and I think I confused it with one of the Christian sites that I was on called Together Christians Dating, and I don't know that's how it happened but my phone was ringing off the hook almost every single week from Together Dating.

At first I told them that I wasn't interested but one day I decided to hear out one of the representatives of the company. She was telling me that they're not an online service. She wanted to make an appointment for me to actually sit down and talk to a real human being. That got my attention.

The second thing that impressed me were background checks on the individual. I felt a little more comfortable about that. The bottom line was that I wasn't obligated to join, I was just going to check it out. I would love to be married and I would love to have someone in my life, and at that time I didn't have anyone special, so I thought… why not?

How did you like working with them?

At first it felt very comfortable. It was a very nice, presentable office, clean, neat. Courtney seemed to really know her stuff. I felt she had a good read on me. Her assistant was professional. They represented the company very well. She asked a lot of questions, and by the time I was finished, I realized I had been there for over two hours.

How does the interview process work? What happens?

You're given short questions to answer in a nice reception area. Then you're given more in-depth personality questions to answer, and after you finish that you're given another set.  50 to 100 questions. After that, you sit down privately with a counselor who offers background about the company, the success stories behind it and discuss why you're there. They asked a few questions and we were taking notes because it's an interview on both sides.

From what I was told, you're being interviewed to see whether or not you're a good applicant to even join the membership. At one point she said I would be a nice candidate. I was told that you couldn't join unless you had transportation. I like that they thought things through. That just made sense. You have to have transportation. For the background check, you had to bring ID, a credit card, driver's license and they made their copies and took a picture, which scared me because my hair was a wreck. They assured me that nobody was going to see it; it was just for their files.
You get a chance to write out a brief intro about yourself that would be used and then you discuss the pricing.

What I do like about Courtney is that at one point make reference to the cost of the service to take the shock off, I guess, because it is not cheap. She brought out all the different plans and suggested which one would probably be best suited for me. After you pay for the package, you are told that it's not a casual dating situation, but for someone seeking a long term relationship. It takes about two weeks for the background check.

It says in the information that the first person is not a real exact match, but a test and its best not to get serious the first time out. Being a traditional person, you might want the guy to call you but the rule is that you both call. Then you get a very discreet letter in the mail. No one would know that it's from a dating service, and inside is a form that only tells you the first name of the person, a phone number, the little blurb we all write up with a few answers to basic questions.

Together Dating has different introduction packages - Which package did you choose?

There were 6, 12, 18 and 36 referral packages and I chose 12. You are able to place them on hold for one year, which is good. I think one year gives you enough time to evaluate a person, to break a person down and see all the emotions, meet all the friends and family and make a clear decision.

Tell me about David.

He didn't meet my criteria.

Which criteria didn't he meet?

Height. He was much shorter. It says on his paperwork that he's 5' 6" and I'm not sure if he is or not, but that is what it says on his paperwork.

Anyway, after a few mismatches, I said I'd go on because I promised myself that with the next gentleman I would be polite and nice, even if it wasn't' reciprocated. I think he called me, it was in January and we were trying to set up to meet. It was very cold and I was busy, I wasn't familiar with where he lived and he didn't know anything about where I lived, as we were about an hour away from each other.

I was not expecting anything. I told him I was busy, I had training to do. I was making a big deal out of it but he said, "oh no, I've got to meet you. I'm listening to your voice…" and just from the sound of my voice he had to meet me. So I squeezed him in on a Sunday and I'll never forget how very, very cold the weather was. He said "I'm coming to you." He said, "I'm coming all the way to meet you," and he did. We went out for Chai tea and just talked for hours.

What was your first impression of him?

There is something about David. He's very friendly in that you feel like you've known him all your life. We talked on the phone within a week, he would call me often and we would just talk and talk. He was about to do the Polar Bear Plunge and I had never met anybody crazy enough in the winter to jump into ice cold water. That interested me. He has a grown son as well, so by the time we met we had been yakking for hours on the phone. I started asking my usual questions. My number one question is "Do you go to church?" because I am a Christian and I do go to church, and that is important to me for a husband or partner in life. He said yes. He was the first person to say yes. That put a big smile on my face.

The other thing that has nothing to do with Together Dating, it's just something mom's tell their daughters, is that, if you read the Bible, it tells you that a woman should match up with somebody who at least has their own, not somebody who is living off of mom and dad. Not only did he have a house, but he put an addition, he added a deck to the house, the siding and did a lot of work. He was one of those perfect handymen who knows electrical, plumbing, etc. He also told me he was an electrician and I thought 'wow, that's definitely a keeper.' He also owns a boat, and he began to talk about his boating lifestyle, which is something totally foreign to me. He promised me if we were still seeing each other in the summer that he would take me out on the boat.

Describe your first official date. How did it go? Where did you go?

Our first date was a surprise. It was a little exciting, a little scary; I didn't know where we were going. He did narrow it down and said that we were going to Baltimore. We went to the aquarium and walked around and took the light rail to get there. It was really fun.

He did send me the most beautiful flowers for Valentine's Day. I was a little nervous because I didn't know how he felt, as we were just dating. I sent him a card. I can tell he was smitten by me right away. He was nervous for some reason. I didn't think guys felt that way. I was his 3rd referral at this point.  I decided that we should have our own Valentine's Day a month later, March 14th, and it was very romantic. He presented me with a beautiful necklace with a cross on it, and I gave him some cologne, and we went out to a very nice romantic dinner. That's when he showed me where he lived and where people go with their boats. It was very, very nice. And at that point we decided we wanted to be a couple.

What do your friends think about the way you two met?

Only one girlfriend who is using the same service knows how we met. As far as my church family, I did tell those in my inner circle, like my godmother. Later on, by the time I met David, I told my parents.  My mother was very nervous and was scared for me and I kept telling her everything was fine.

Now they've met David and she loves him, and David loves my parents. They just adore him. He went home to visit his mother and father and told them about me and his mom sent me a little gift. That was so sweet. We're planning to go meet them next month.

Do you talk about the future?

We're definitely in each others future. I would never, never introduce anybody to my parents that I'm not going to marry, and my parents know that. And my mother was hinting 'I just love my future son-in-law' like that. The people at church, my godmother, the ones who are in the inner circle, they all just kept saying we see you in the future and my godmother confessed to me that behind my back, to her friends, she called David my husband.

And the same thing with David, he introduced me to his son and we're going to see his parents. And the way he introduced me to all of his friends. We would never do anything like that if we weren't looking to have a future together.

Do you have any advice for others searching for love via the Together Dating service?

I would just say that you should keep an open mind. Don't discuss the membership with other people. I think you should have open communication with the management and customer service if you do feel down or if something is not going your way, get clarity from the customer service department. I will say that prayer offers answers for people who are religious. Really, just take your time and be honest with the people you meet.

When you're dealing with matters of the heart, it can be a very emotional thing and therefore no one needs someone playing games with them. Take it very seriously, especially because of the amount of money you're paying, and just have the patience and wait it out.

Go through every referral you're matched up with. In my case, David and I would never have met under other circumstances because he didn't match my criteria, but fortunately, I decided to go against my normal instincts. Don't have too many expectations, and let people be people and you be yourself.

Beatrice & Cline

”During our date, I was so shy. Usually, I’m the one speaking, and we talked for about three hours, and it was supposed to be a one-hour date. After that, we walked to the parking lot and continued to talk and I knew I was going to marry him; I knew I was going to do it.”

Beatrice, how was your dating life before you joined Together Dating?
Before joining Together Dating, I couldn’t find what I really wanted. I was dating, but I was really lonely and I needed somebody who could share the same interests. The reason I joined was to meet someone who could love me as much as I could love him.

What was your opinion of matchmakers and dating sites before you tried this service?
I looked at online dating sites and they wanted me to pay some money, but I was a little scared because I didn’t know where the money was going; I didn’t know what type of people I would meet. I went online and then I went to the Together Dating Service site, and I liked it.

How did you hear about Together Dating?
I got a flyer from Together Dating. It’s weird. Before I joined, I really didn’t know what to expect, so I put it aside; a year later when I was tired of dating people from the nightclubs and things like that, I decided to go online and see what it was all about. I liked it, and I filled out a flyer and called a counselor, and I made an appointment and I went to their office.

How did you like working with them?
I loved the counselor. His name was Richie, and he was great. I really didn’t know what to expect; I was so scared and he made me feel comfortable. I knew that there were other people like me, looking to find somebody to spend the rest of their life with. I felt really, really comfortable working with him. I really don’t spend my money like that, but because of the way he was talking to me, he made me realize that I was losing a little bit of money compared to what I would get.

How does the interview process work?
They greet you and you sit down and fill out some paperwork. You really don’t know what you’re filling out until you get into the room with them and sit down and start talking. So what you will fill out is actually a profile of who you are after which they will rate everything, I think on a scale from 0 to 10. Basically, you’re filling out the information blind, because if they tell you what you’re filling out, you will tend to fill it out differently. So if you don’t know what you’re filling out, the answers you give will be the best answers and those that really describe who you are.

So I did that. I sat down and talked to the counselor and he gave me advice. I was telling him what I like and don’t like, the person I want to meet, and how I want that person to be, and we took it from there. He told me how much it would cost and it took one to two hours because he was really listening to me. I said I wasn’t in a rush and would take my time, and he said even if it was going to take three hours, he was going to sit there and wait for me. I really liked that.

Tell me about meeting Cline. Who made the initial contact?
That was the best part. Usually, when I meet somebody, I judge him or her the first time we meet. We were supposed to meet at Cline’s, and I called him and he wasn’t home. As soon as he got home, he called me back and we went to his house, which was five minutes away from my house. We were supposed to meet at the halfway point, but he was so nice that he met me all the way to where I lived. When we met, as soon as I saw him, I knew that I was going to really like him.

Describe your first date. How did it go?
He was there an hour before I got there, because he was so nervous. We sat down and he asked me what I wanted to drink. I usually don’t drink, but I said I wanted a Margarita. And he got a drink himself, and when we sat down, and he spilled the drink because he was so nervous. And he had to clean it. So I told him not to worry about it, and we started talking and he asked me how old I was, even though he had been given my age. He told me a little bit about himself, and I did the same. He told me where he was working, and he told me about his daughter.

I felt a little uncomfortable because I didn’t want to meet somebody who had a child, but I knew about her before I met him. So I didn’t really tell how I felt; I just let it go, and we started talking, and we saw that we had a lot of things in common. I was nervous and yet so happy that I had met someone who was so nice.

During our date, I was so shy that I kept looking down, and I don’t do that. Usually, I’m the one speaking, and we talked for about three hours, and it was supposed to be a one-hour date. After that, we walked to the parking lot and continued to talk and I knew I was going to marry him; I knew I was going to do it.

What was your first impression of Cline?
He had a nice smile and I liked the way he carried himself. You can tell when somebody is really nice and gentle, and you can tell by the way the person stands and the way the person greets you and the way the person looks at you. I think that is what really attracted me.

What do your friends think about how you two met?
I told some friends that I met him through a dating site; other friends, I don’t tell them that, because I don’t want them to know what is going on in my life. The people who know are very surprised, because people don’t usually have a good experience with dating sites. And I was lucky to find somebody that I loved after only having dated three people through Together Dating.

So I think they’re happy for me. They’re happy and surprised, because they don’t see it that often. You usually don’t meet the people you want to meet; you meet other people that you don’t like. So it’s very rare, that’s what they said, to meet somebody you love when you use a dating site.

How would you describe your life together now? What do you two do for fun?
We go to the movies, we love sightseeing, and we do a lot of traveling. And that’s what I always wanted to do; we take the car and go to Williamsburg, and go around and just see things. We love to cook together and invite friends over. We go out to eat. We go to the beach and swim; we like swimming. Right now I’m taking classes too, so what I love about it is, he goes with me to school. He drives me to school and waits for me at school, and when I’m done we meet up together. I mean, you can’t find a man like that. He is very nice. And after two years, he’s the same; he hasn’t changed. I love him.

Do you talk about the future?
Oh, yes we do, and it’s funny because we were talking about the future after six months, which I don’t do. I said I want to get to know the person before we talk about the future, because I’m very nervous. And I’m a little difficult and I want things to be my way. But after six months, we started talking about the future and we said we want kids. We talked about the bank accounts we’re going to have and how many. He already has a daughter and he just bought a condo, so I decorated the condo, and I’m going to move in. Everything is already set. And he hasn’t complained that I’m too bossy or anything; everything is fine.

Do you have any advice for others searching for love via Together Dating?
I’m going to tell them not to give up. It’s really hard to find love, but the best thing about Together Dating is that when you meet somebody for the first time, they will send you that piece of paper and you tell them what you like and don’t like. I think people should be honest and tell them what you want. Do not put something that other people want you to be; put what you really want, and they will make sure they find somebody for you. And if it doesn’t work the second time, write down what you didn’t like and what you liked, and they’ll narrow the search until you find the person you want. When I started, I think I was a little intimidated, so I said I was going to date everybody that I could: White, Black, Asian. But I realized that I don’t get along with those other people. I get along with Caucasian men and that’s my type. So I wrote that down and that was the first person that I met, and that was the right person. So I think people should not be shy or intimidated. You tell them what you want and they will get it for you.

Annette & Paul

”My life now could not be better. Annette is everything I ever wanted. She means the world to me!.”

Describe your dating life before you joined Together Dating?
Annette: I didn’t have much of a dating life before Together. I tried the online sites but I’m not a person who sits at the computer all the time, so it really didn’t help me much.

Paul:  It wasn’t great. I tried to meet people, but none of the methods worked.

What inspired you to try Together Dating?
Annette: Actually I’m at a point in my life where I want my own family, as I’m very family oriented, but as I look around I find that I’m the only one who is not married and I don’t have any kids. I was helping everybody else when I really wanted to help myself. Together Dating sent something in the mail and one day as I was driving; I actually saw a sign of theirs. I thought it wouldn’t hurt to at least go and see what they’re offering.

Paul: I saw the sign on the way home from work and thought, “Why not?” I was tired of being by myself, so I decided to take a chance.

How did you like working with them?
Annette: I thought they were very professional. They made me feel very relaxed and I honestly felt having that connection with another person helped as opposed to the online websites – you don’t get that. You don’t get someone who is willing to listen to you as you’re telling them your life story or love story.

Paul: I thought working with Together was great. They really listened to what you had to say.

How does the interview process work?
Annette: It was very relaxed, very easy and it felt like I was talking to a friend over lunch, although we were in the office. It felt very easy for me to open up to the young lady who interviewed me. It lasted about 1 to 1 ½ hours. I think it depends on how much you talk. First you fill out a questionnaire, and then they call you back into the office and you just talk to them. What kind of person are you looking for, how long have you been looking, why have you not found that person you’re looking for, etc. After the interview process, they ask you if you want to continue, if you are ready to invest in your love life, that sort of thing. And that’s when the background check comes in. I signed up for two years worth of introductions.

Paul:  First, you fill out a profile (about you and the person you are looking for). Then, you have a conference with a consultant.

Tell me about meeting Paul, who made the initial contact?
Annette: He did, and although this is the 21st century, there are still some things that I won’t bend on, and calling a guy is one of them. So I insisted that he call. Actually you get their paperwork, which includes their profile, and I thought he sounded like an interesting person. It actually took him a month and a half to call me. You’re not really in a relationship but you’re going out with people to see if it will work and if it doesn’t or if you’re just really friends then you have the option of continuing on with someone else. So at that point, he was actually dating someone and it didn’t work out, so he thought he’d call me.

How many people did you meet before you met Paul?
Annette:  Five and actually there were two people after him. So I would have to say eight, but he was number six.

Tell me about your first date.
Annette: We stayed locally for me and that was a first, because most of the guys were from Maryland and I had to drive quite a ways to meet some of them. So he was the first one to insist on coming to me, and I’m in Virginia. I was very impressed by that and actually I was surprisingly on time for the date, considering I’m never on time for anything. I thought it was going to be interesting. And we had dinner. You can have the option of just meeting for coffee or actually going out on a date. So we just met for dinner and we just talked for two hours straight about anything and everything.

Paul: My first date with Annette was on November 17th at King Street Blues in Crystal City. I had never been there so I had no problem meeting her there. When I first saw her, I thought to myself, “I hope that is her!” I thought she was pretty. I was so nervous. We sat and talked for hours getting to know each other.

What was your first impression of each other?
Annette: I thought he was very nice, very caring, a good listener, but I could tell he was nervous. We talk about this today, I tell him I didn’t understand some of what he was saying because he was talking too fast. I know now that when he gets nervous that’s what he does. He talks really fast. We went on to actually become engaged, I’m happy to say…

Paul:  I thought she was great, very smart, and a good listener.

Can you tell me about the proposal?
Annette: It was my birthday, so it just happened a couple of months ago. I knew he had the ring and I could feel that he was going to come around to it, but when and where I wasn’t too sure. So I just told him whenever he felt comfortable to just do it. So he waited until around ten at night and we were eating pizza. So there’s no romance in that, but he was comfortable.

What do your friends think about how you two met?
Annette: Actually, the way Paul and I met did not surprise any of them. My friends know people who have done that [dating service] and have been successful or met on the Internet and they’re successful as well. The hardest thing was trying to explain it to my parents. Here we are in the 21st century, and I had to go to Together Dating in order to find him because it wasn’t working on my own.
Paul:  My friends are glad that I have someone who loves and understands me!

How do your parents feel about Paul?
Annette: Oh, they like him. They really do like him. When we have family functions they’re always asking where Paul is or if he is coming. It’s getting kind of hard for us because we’re trying to split our time between the two families. We were talking about it this weekend, how are we going to do the holidays when they come up after we are married?

How would you describe your life together now?
Annette: I’m very happy. I always tell the story, I teach 10th through 12th grade High School classes, and before I met Paul my career was really where I was focused, and after a while you start to become complacent and that’s normally not me but there wasn’t anything to really occupy my time at that point. It was basically being with my family or work. And after I met Paul, and we were going out, even my students knew something was up. I wouldn’t tell them my personal business, but they knew something was going on because they said I just seemed so happy. I would let a lot of things they would do slide. This is who I am, and this is how I should be anyway. I think he brought that part of me out again.

Paul: It could not be better. She is everything I ever wanted. She means the world to me

What do you two do for fun?
Annette: As a matter of fact, yesterday we were coming back from Williamsburg, Virginia and he suggested that we stop at a go-cart place. I haven’t been on a go-cart nor seen a go-cart since I was eight. I said, “Okay, I’ll go.” And it was so much fun, we went go-cart racing, we played miniature golf and we went to the arcade. We’re in our late 30s but we still act like we are in high school. I really do appreciate being in a relationship that is mature yet fun and exciting!

What are your future plans?
Annette: We decided to stay in Virginia. Right now we do have some possibilities of moving into a house or a condo. We’re trying to figure it out because he just graduated from the university, and at this point, he has a job but he’s trying to find a better job. So I’m just giving him time, but the wedding is in April, so he doesn’t have that much time.

Do you have any advice for others who are searching for love via the Together Dating?
Annette: It actually works. The thing about it is that you just have to keep an open mind, and if you need help, if you need someone to talk to, they’re always willing to be there for you to talk to them. There were some times when I thought, “I don’t think this is working; I’m not seeing the benefit. What do I do?” And the one thing the lady told me was to give it time.

Paul: Try it. It does work and Annette and I are proof!

Lynda & Scott

“Doors open and close,” and at that time a door closed for me, and then Scott walked into my life and then it opened again."

Describe your dating life before you joined Together Dating?
Lynda: I had just gotten out of a five-year marriage. So at the age of 25 up until 30, I was confused. Things didn’t go very well, and when I decided to finally divorce, I was quite shaken up, upset, disappointed, depressed, and my dating was very sporadic. I would try to go out but I’d not have fun and, of course, I had a ticking clock. I was 30, so I wanted to get on with my life—hopefully a new and challenging, bright and cheery one, because the past was not so bright and cheery. I was looking for something new and exciting to happen for me.

Scott: Non-existent.

What was your opinion of matchmakers and online dating sites before you tried Together Dating?
Lynda: I tried doing the newspaper before I joined Together Dating. I looked in the paper’s personals in our hometown. It was just something like “Love Lives for the Weekend,” and you would call up someone in the paper. I tried that for a bit. It was very sketchy; I got scared, to be truthful, with that. I had a few ups and downs with it and I thought, “Oh, this is not going very well.”

I started looking at other possibilities besides the paper and the Internet. I really didn’t want to try video dating, and I guess that’s what struck me with Together Dating. They said they would interview you, but not put it on videotape; the videotapes just didn’t seem exciting to me. I wanted something a little more personal, and that’s what I got out of Together Dating.

I saw the commercials and made the step toward going to Together Dating and challenging myself to actually join and pay the money. That was another big issue, as at that time it was a pricing commitment and the paper and the Internet were not. Online sites were like $6.00 a month and the paper was nothing, you could just open up the paper and call somebody and then meet.

Scott: Skeptical.

When did you try Together Dating—how long ago?
Lynda: I was in the process of looking in February 1996, so we’re talking 12 years ago. My marriage had broken up and the divorce was final by January, but my so-called ex was out of the house six months prior to that.

What inspired you to try Together Dating?
Scott: I wanted a companion and all of my friends were getting married. I felt like a third wheel.

How did you like working with them?
Lynda: It was wonderful. They were very calm and very loving and that’s what I was hoping to get out of the program. I was hoping to get love, and they made me feel loved. They were very excited to have me come into the office. It wasn’t all about money. It was just, “Come on in and let’s just talk about our program and what we can do for you.” I just felt loved; there was no commitment at that point. It was, “Come in and let’s talk about you and see what your interests are and you’re your goals are and what you want out of life.” It felt like they were tuning into me, and my problems and that made it more exciting to me. I was like, “Wow, they really care about me.”

Scott: I felt at ease.

How does the interview process work?
Lynda: I actually went into their office, and I think it was even a three hour-long process. I filled out paperwork, and beforehand I was even told to bring a scenario of what I was looking for so I wasn’t groping, “What do I want out of a man?” because that was a question. So I had already made a three page list of what I wanted and didn’t want and I was very specific because obviously I already had what I didn’t want and I knew what I did want. I was ready for marriage. I wasn’t going into this and come out without a marriage. I was looking for the long-term goal.

Scott: I asked for a specific range of ladies.

Who made the initial contact?
Lynda: I had an opportunity to meet six men and Scott was my third. When the third referral came up, they gave me his scenario, and he didn’t match my criteria, and I was very specific about what I was looking for. My range was 28 to 38 and here I was 30, and he was 28. What made it work for me was that he called me and I was already so delighted. I received the paper and he called me the next day and I thought, “Yes, this is exciting that I didn’t have to be the pusher and call first.”

Tell me about your first date.
Lynda: He wanted something comfortable so we settled for a lunch date. I teach Spanish, so he picked me up at the university where I was working. We went to a downtown restaurant, very open, and we had a wonderful lunch for about an hour. We both had something to do until about 7:00, so after 2:00 we both had to get on with our days and we decided to meet again that evening.

I had a house that had been burglarized because I wasn’t living in it. I was staying with my parents and I had bought a TV, and he had a truck, and the wheels were turning, and I was thinking that maybe he could bring that TV to my house. And on top of that, he met my parents that night, since I had told him, “Oh, my parents are probably not going to be home,” but they were. So he had to meet and greet my parents very quickly on this very first date of meeting me only five hours earlier.

So we picked up the TV, put it in his truck and took it over to the house. He even set it up for me and I believe we sort of passed out on the couch until one or two in the morning. I think we had a little intimate moment that very same night, early in the morning before he left. I’m thinking, “I really care for this guy and I think he’s really cool,” and I wasn’t going to let go. I thought I had scared him away that night. He had a little rented place and he finally made the move to try Together Dating because he had decided he wanted to find somebody, but slowly. But I think it happened a bit quicker than he expected.

So I kept calling and going over to his place. I just decided that I was going to continuously hang onto him and hey, if he could only see me at this time, I went over to his place; if he could only see me at his worksite, I went over there. I don’t know if it was called “hounding” him or not. My husband Scott, the poor thing, had bought 12 dates from Together Dating, not thinking that the first one he met would be it. He jokes that he still feels that the program owes him!

By October, we had finally decided we were stuck on each other, but there was one little thing that I knew that was holding us back. I’m 30-something years old and I was never baptized and that means I really didn’t have a denomination. Scott is seriously with his Lutheran Church. He grew up with it in elementary school and went for four years to a private Evangelical Lutheran School. So we were at a Chinese restaurant and he said, “There is just one little thing.” I said, “It’s the religion, isn’t it?” He said, “Well, yes.” I said, “That’s not a problem. What do you want me to do? That’s not going to stop us.” So I decided to take the six months’ training in his church to become baptized and joining his church. So I did this in October or November, and it wasn’t until October that following year that he actually proposed to me.

Scott: I was nervous but excited. We had a connection the first part of the day and decided to meet again in the evening.

What was your first impression of each other?
Lynda: Geeky—he was geeky. He looked lanky and tall and that was another thing. I’m 5’ 3” so I really wanted somebody 6 foot or under, and he claimed to be 6’1”. When I saw him, I thought, “Oh, my gosh—here’s this tall, thin guy.” That was the first thing that came to my mind, that he’s kind of geeky. But then obviously after that, looks didn’t matter to me. To tell you the truth, you had asked about my dating past and it would have to be, well, I’m a Spanish teacher, so I’m thinking more Latin lovers—Latin, Mexican; I was in Spain for two years and thought I would meet my love there and never did. So yes, I certainly thought I was going to be with a Latin lover. Oh and this guy doesn’t have a lick of Spanish in him.

Scott: I liked the way she was built. That was an in for me.

What do your friends think about how you two met?
Lynda: Typically, the question was, “Wow! You guys met through Together Dating, that agency?” That’s usually the question I get: “That dating agency? It really works?” I say, “Yeah, I met my husband through a dating service,” and they’re like, “Really, that works?” It really did for us.

Scott: A bit strange that I paid money for dates.

Can you tell me how Scott proposed?
Lynda: It was the most romantic thing ever! He had already bought my ring. He took it with him to the Bahamas because we had a deal to stay down there for two days on a boat and five days altogether. So this is very exciting to me. I was with a guy I really, really love and I made fun of him in a piano bar. I had the guys make up a song about a guy who was afraid to ask me to marry him. It had been a year and a half, because we met in March, 1996 and it was October, 1997. He was going to ask me on the ship on our two days to The Bahamas. So we were on the boat, under the stars, and he pulls out the ring and says, “It’s come to the time where I think our two lives need to join together into one.” I thought, “Oh my God!” It was just so exciting! On my ring finger I wore a dumpy little $90.00 diamond, because I had to have something on that finger. I had worn it for three years, this dinky ring. So I took it off and threw it into the ocean, and what do you think he thought? He thought I had taken his ring and thrown it! He was panicking, thinking I threw it…he was like, “What!?” I said, “I’m throwing that little dinky ring, honey. It’s okay.” He was about half ready to jump in. I said, “I just threw that one away and put on yours.” It was so romantic, so awesome, and then we got off the boat and I called my mom and told her that he asked.

What was your wedding like?
Lynda: Absolutely wonderful. We had about 300 to 500 people at the wedding. It was a pretty big wedding. I had five-plus bridesmaids, plus my sister, who was my Maid of Honor, so six. And he had to be in white—that was his thing. He had always dreamed of being in white. I wore a gorgeous fluffy mermaid-type of dress; it was white and flowing and it had a pretty good train to it that bustled up at the end of the night.

Where did you get married?
It was in Omaha, Nebraska, at his church. It was called Good Shepherd Evangelical Lutheran Church.

How many children do you have?
Lynda: We have three boys, three awesome boys. Our 10-year anniversary is coming up on August 15th.My father actually passed away in 2000, four days before my first son was born, so he never got to see his grandson. But my mom, (my parents were divorced), got a call from him on Wednesday and she was the only one to know if it was a boy or girl, my first son. He had called my mother asking that information and so he passed on knowing it was a boy. We gave him my dad’s name for a middle name. He was to come to Omaha from Chicago, and I didn’t get to go to his funeral because obviously I was going to have the baby in three days. He died on Saturday and it was Wednesday that I was going to have the baby. He had plans and tickets to come here, but my stepmother still came that weekend and saw the baby, so it made the experience even better. When they came to me to tell me that he passed away, it was tears, and then I was off to have the baby. It was a strange feeling being pregnant and then having your father pass away, all at the same time. It was bittersweet, they always told me, through the whole thing, and that’s exactly what it was. But that made it so perfect, it was perfect because my first son has a birthmark, and we tell him that’s his angel.

How would you describe your life together now?
Lynda: Lovely, beautiful, exciting, but also fast-paced and busy. We make time at night for us but everything is a building block. What do we do for the future? We have a very good nest being created. Our families are very close to all of us. We have a cabin nearby and we always invite his side of the family who get together every three months to go boating and be on the lake. My mother bought one of those Hilton condos in Orlando, and we’re very big on vacations; we love having time together and time with family and we’re very close to all of them. I think that’s what I love about Scott, he’s so warm and loving and everything is with the family.

He does all the cooking, because when we got married the issue was that he was a bachelor for eight years and he made meals in 20 minutes. He says if you can’t do it all in 20 minutes, then it’s not really a meal. I love him. How could he not have been taken? He was 28 years old, come on!

I appreciate every moment we have, and there is not a day that goes by that I don’t think, “Doors open and close,” and at that time, I told you a door closed for me, and then Scott walked into my life and then it opened again. It has just made every moment loved even more.

Scott: Beautiful!

Do you have any advice for others who are searching for love using the Together Dating Service?
Lynda: Never have a doubt and don’t have that fear that a lot of people have in dating, that it might not work out, because you just might notice that it’s really and truly in front of your eyes and you don’t realize it. Never doubt and take the chance because it just might become your two lives.

Scott: Don't be afraid to take a chance because the right one is just around the corner.

Melissa & Mike

Update: Married!

”There is no way that Mike and I would have met without Together, because we lived 40 miles away from each other. We’re totally different. Our backgrounds are different. Our paths would never have crossed.”

Melissa, how was your dating life before you joined Together Dating?
We’ve been together for a little over a year, and I was single for about two and a half years before I met him. I have to tell you that this is the first time that I’m going to be married, at 53. I was engaged previously, and my fiancé passed away suddenly. I had never online dated. How I had met people in my life was blind dates through friends. And I had a lot of really bad blind dates.

Were you initially skeptical of matchmakers & dating sites?
I never thought that I would try this. Every time I tell someone about how we met, that it was through a dating service, everyone I talk to has some story about meeting someone this way, via a matchmaking service or an online site. But online dating was not for me because I never really trusted it as a safe way to meet people.

What inspired you to try Together Dating?
I heard about someone who had joined Together and had met her husband. A friend of a friend, I never actually met this person but I heard about her, and that’s why I tried it.

How did you like working with them?
I loved the person who I worked with, Jill. She’s extremely intellectual. She inspired me to think in ways that I had not thought before. There was one thing that she pointed out to me. She was very gentle about it, but perhaps thought that I was going in the wrong direction - she was amazing. There is no way that Mike and I would have met without her, because we lived 40 miles away from each other. We’re totally different. Our backgrounds are different. Our paths would never have crossed.

How does the process work?
You go to their office and fill out all of these forms, and they are very enthusiastic. You leave feeling extremely excited that this is going to work immediately. And it took a little bit of time. Actually, for me, it took joining at a VIP level, where I actually had a person working for me, like a personal shopper. Jill was like an old fashioned matchmaker, and she’s the one who found Mike. She had set me up with a few others, but it didn’t work out. I was ready to give up. I remember thinking to myself, ‘This isn’t for me. I’m not the type. I’m too picky. I’m not in a good place in my life. I’m not ready. I hate dating.’ I was going through this whole grieving process over losing someone that I loved deeply, and I just told my matchmaker to let me get old with my dogs, to become a stereotype. I renovated a condo, put way too much money into it, I figured that this is where I’d live for the rest of my life. And she contacted me and said ‘There’s this one guy… how would you like somebody who is a gentleman?” And I said okay. I had only met two men through the service. Mike had a different experience than I did. He had gone out with more women who were not his type.

What’s really interesting to me is that, to this day, my matchmaker and I have never met. We’re actually talking about it now that this engagement has happened. She was totally responsible… I mean, she really did this; she put two people together who are going to spend the rest of their lives together. And so we have to meet her. I called her to tell her about this last week and she started screaming, which is so funny because she’s one of the calmest people I've ever met in my life and I would have never expected it. She was very excited.

Their matching system is done by computer, in terms of the many questions that they ask, and apparently Mike and I came up by a point, which is very strange, because we don’t have a lot in common. We’re different politically, religiously, he’s athletic, I’m artistic, but I have to say, just knowing that he’s around, I feel like I’m home. I’ll tell you what has happened. My condo, which is only 30 miles from here, I’m there only one night a month and I don’t like going there anymore. I don’t like being away from him. It’s really strange how that’s happened. Yes, sure, I like my time alone during the day and I don’t need to be tethered to him, but there is something about seeing that face when he comes through the door that just makes me happy.

Who made the initial contact? I hear that these blind dates are really blind.
That’s right! Absolutely no photos! The no photo thing was so frustrating to me, whenever I had been fixed up with someone in the past I always wanted to know what he looked like. I don’t remember exactly who called whom, but my gut tells me that I made the call. I felt uncomfortable having to make that first move, but Jill talked me into it. She possesses the rare art of leading you to make a decision so subtly that you think it was your own idea.

Describe your first date. How did it go?
It was really funny actually because he had described his car and I described mine. We met for lunch at a nice restaurant that he had chosen. I remember thinking “Lets just get this over with because obviously I just want to get it done because it’s not going to work.”  He walked up to me and he said the wrong name, <laughing> and I walked into the restaurant, and he got back into his car, and he realized that he had totally blundered and that of course I was the person he is meeting, and I am realizing the same thing, and I can’t believe this is happening. Obviously he is the guy. What do we do? So the two of us kind of realized what had happened, we laughed about it and had lunch. I had no recollection of what we talked about, but apparently we did a lot of talking. I think the first thing that we had in common was that he had lost a woman that he’d been with for fourteen years a year before, and that was a commonality at the beginning. We bonded over loss.

What was your first impression of Mike?
I thought he had beautiful blue eyes. I thought he was really nice. I thought he might be too nice. He doesn’t know that, but it’s okay <laughing> I know the date was good enough to agree to a second date before the first one was over.

Can you describe when you fell in love?
Defining moment – It was because of the Golden Globe Awards!  He asked me out and I said, “Oh, I can’t do it because the Golden Globe Awards are on and I never miss the Golden Globe Awards!” and he said “Would you mind if I came over and watched them with you?” and that was how he got me. He had me at the Golden Globe Awards, and that was our third date. 

What do your friends think about how you two met?
Actually, they think it’s great. When we first started sharing with people, Michael said ‘blind date.’

How would you describe your life together now?
It’s totally a compromise. Because we are so different, we both have definitely met in the middle in terms of lifestyle. I watch a lot of sports now, and he goes to a lot of movies. He also adopted two dogs of mine. He has two kids, I have two dogs, and so it’s a big family. A lot of our life is doing what the other one wants to do.

You two were recently engaged. Tell me about the proposal.
It was his birthday and we had been out to dinner with friends, and we came home, and while upstairs, his daughter said to me “I have one more present for Dad, could you take it downstairs?” but she stayed upstairs so I knew what was going on at that point, and that she was totally in on it. I have to admit, when I saw the bag, I thought it was a little frilly to be a present for him. So it did occur to me that this might be about to happen. So… I brought the bag down, and I said “Here’s your last present from KJ.” And he said “Well, actually, you have given me so many birthday presents, I have a present for you.” So I asked, “Is this what I think it is?” And he said, “Just open it!” And I opened it, and it was a ring, and I looked at him, and he said, “Will you marry me?” That’s when I burst into tears. And he said, “Aren’t you going to answer me?” So that’s how it happened.

Do you have any advice for others searching for love via the Together Dating service?
Yes. I think the thing that Jill at Together taught me the most was to look a little bit away from my priorities, and rethink what I thought I wanted. For me, it was all about power. I wanted a powerful man. That was my first priority. And I think using the word power wasn't the right way to describe it. I had it all wrong. I guess the way I looked at it, I had always responded to men of power, who took control of situations. But apparently using that particular word conjures up a lot of the wrong attributes. And Jill was able to figure out what I was saying. She really moved me away from it. Mike has tremendous confidence. But what makes him special is that he doesn't shy away from taking control of a situation, he just does it in a quiet, low-key manner.

Michele D. & Jonathan C.

”For a long time, I thought I’d have to settle – until I met you.” ~ Jonathan

Michele, how was your dating life before you joined Together Dating?
I had tried online dating sites, as I’m generally very busy, but I didn’t ever meet anyone of quality. The one nice guy whom I did meet, well, there was no spark.

What inspired you to try Together Dating? How did you like working with them?
I saw a sign on a lawn for the local franchise (laughing) and I thought ‘why not?’ and looked them up online.  What impressed me about Together was that the way they worked was different from online dating. They wanted to meet me, to actually get to know me. My consultation wasn’t short, it lasted for about four hours, but the person who interviewed me really took the time, and explained everything thoroughly. After having a background check done on myself, I felt comforted and safe knowing that whoever I’d meet would have gone through the same process. I was impressed with the depth of the personality tests, and I remember thinking to myself that this type of (matching) questions had a lot of potential to really work, to cipher out just how serious a client would be about entering into a new relationship.

How does the process work?
Together offers different types of packages. I bought a package of nine introductions. I would choose a few initial criteria; in my case, age and location were important to me, so I was given a call with a potential introduction. Once I agreed to meet my future date, I was sent a spec sheet in the mail that included more detail. Jonathan’s package was different from mine in that his included a personal shopper, who did his contacting for him. We found that we were both the same age, and neither had been married before.

Where was your first date? How did the date go?
Since he lived an hour away, he offered to come to me, so I was happy to choose a location for our date. I decided on a popular local area that included a row of nice restaurants facing a beautiful fountain, which is where we were set to meet. I guess he recognized me at the fountain because I was the one who looked like I was waiting for someone. When we met, I definitely thought that he was attractive and sweet. Aside from the fact that ours was a real blind date (no photos were shared before we met), we found that we had so much to say to each other that we closed down the restaurant. After we left the restaurant, we talked by the car until almost 3AM. Not bad for a nine hour date!

What was your “first love” moment?
I waited to say I love you until I sure, and then I waited even longer. The day that I had decided to tell him turned out to be the exact same day that he had decided to tell me. That, and the fact that he’s a fellow Star Trek fan, sounds like fate to me.

How has your relationship progressed?
We've met each other’s families and we all get along very well. I love to watch him play with my nieces. He loves them and they adore him. The six year old is convinced that he’s a movie star. Once, after a trip to New York to visit family, we heard that the five year old had asked her mother, "Is she going to marry him? Because If so, then she's going to have to kiss him!" I thought that was very cute.

What do your friends think about how you two met?
I’ll never forget what my best friend said to me. She said “You talk about him differently than you have about your past boyfriends.” I guess that is true. It feels different, in a good way.

What are your future plans?
We’ve talked about having children. We both want them. I think it’s cute when he says, “When we get married.” Not “if.”  Whatever happens, right now I’m very happy.

Do you have any advice for others searching for love via the Together Dating service?
Yes. Be honest about who and what you are looking for, as the service is only limited by what they can do for you. Have a reasonable list of qualities. I knew what I wanted and I wasn’t going to settle, and I didn’t have to. My interviewer had met her husband through the service; she was very confidant that she could help me. When I left the office after my interviewer, she shouted out to me “Send me an invite to your wedding!” I might just do that.